


time, time, time, see what’s become of me

by Ford_Ye_Fiji



Series: A Hazy Shade of Winter [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: AU, Allison is supportive mom friend, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Diego was surprisingly fun to write, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I should probably put in some actual tags now, Luther honey I know u mean well but chill the heck out pls, NO INCEST IN MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER, Oh heck I just realized Pogo doesn’t show up but he should tho like, also, and in this essay I will, anyway anyone who doesn’t like Five can FIGHT ME, but also mute, five thinks the apocalypse has been averted already, five would’ve definitely not locked her up, frick, so yeah basically Five's mere presence changed everything in my mind?, thats probably why the handler lady called him away, the umbrella academy has the best soundtrack and anyone who says otherwise is wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-11-08 02:21:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17972621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ford_Ye_Fiji/pseuds/Ford_Ye_Fiji
Summary: It’s not much, but it’s a start.-Five is present when Vanya is locked up. Things end up turning out quite differently.





	1. I think we're alone now

**Author's Note:**

> Ya'll can thank Guest for providing the idea that sparked this story. :P

Five stood there looking on unfeelingly as she slammed her hands against the door; crying, wailing, begging.

Diego and Klaus were already reluctantly turning away. Luther was gently guiding Allison back towards freedom and away from her. 

Luther turned, eyeing him, "Are you coming, Five?"

Five looked up at his much larger brother before casting a glance back at Vanya gasping desperately- hoping against all hope that he’d stay.

He called back, "Yeah I’m coming."

He followed them out, hands in his pockets.

Vanya wept silently, pounding her fists against the glass. They turned deaf ears, leaving her behind alone, caged, and so _so_ frightened. She slid downwards before finally slumping in defeat, sobbing, face in her hands.

Something flared white against the back of her lids, making her look up. She sniffed, tilting her head curiously. Four of her siblings walked away down the corridor, leaving her alone in the dark.

The fifth was nowhere to be seen.

The hairs prickled on the back of her neck. Vanya turned her head.

Five was standing in the cage with her, hands still in his pockets, brows turned down in worry. She sniffled, "F- Five?"

He stepped forward, knobby knees bowed as he asked, "Are you alright, Vanya?"

She looked down at her hands, "I..." She hadn’t expected him to ask that, "I don’t know."

Five knelt down, a hand on her shoulder, "They’re just scared, Vanya." He sighed, "People do stupid things when they’re afraid."

Vanya sobbed, "Except- except they’re right to be scared of me this time." She buried her face in her hands, "They’re not wrong to lock me up. I almost killed Allison!"

Five hummed, "You are correct."

Vanya seemed even more miserable as Five stood, "It’s perfectly reasonable and I can understand how Luther came to this conclusion."

His chin hit his chest, "But just because it’s reasonable doesn’t mean it’s right."

Vanya looked up, "What?"

Five was gone.

She jumped at the click behind her. Vanya swallowed and then turned, Five holding the door open, avoiding her eyes, "If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the," He hummed, "Fifty-eight or so years I’ve been alive, it’s not to let fear be your motivator."

His smile was thin and small as he peered up at her, "If you let the fear take hold, it’s hard to shake off." He shrugged, "I learned that the hard way."

Vanya only stared before shakily standing and following him. She took the hand he offered to help her down.

Vanya rubbed her arms as she looked down the now empty hallway. She looked back at her brother, "What motivates you?"

Five seemed to be coming to a decision, mouth flat. He studied her curiously before answering, "Now probably isn’t the time to lie." He sighed, "Well. Don’t tell anyone else this, but the one thing I held onto for those forty-five years alone, the one thing that kept me sane- other than Delores- was family."

Vanya looked a little shocked.

"Strange right?"

That drew a fragile hesitant smile out of her, "Yeah, a little." 

Five smirked, "All I wanted was to get back to you all. Shitty as it is, this family is what held me together." He sighed, "But we averted the apocalypse. Whatever might happen can’t be worse than _that_. I’m sure we can work it out."

Vanya looked at the elevator doors nervously, "That’s... that’s an unusually optimistic outlook."

Five shoved his hands into pockets, "Well, what can I say? Someone once told me it was time to let go of the apocalypse now that it’s gone. Maybe it's time to start over. Maybe the new me is going to be irritatingly positive."

Vanya raised a skeptical eyebrow, the tear tracks that had streamed down her cheeks drying already.

Five sighed and pressed the button on the elevator with a little more force than necessary, "Yeah you’re right. That’s a load of shit."

He stepped in and then turned his head when he saw her hesitance, "You coming?" 

"I- I..." she rubbed her arms, "I’m scared."

Five leaned back on his heels and then grabbed the edge of her sleeve, "Don't be. I won’t let them lock you up again." 

She bit her lip but let him tug her into the elevator. Five quickly let go, pushing the up button.

Vanya twisted her fingers anxiously.

Five eyed her before staring straight ahead, "You know. I was told once, that I didn’t have to do things alone anymore." He snorted, "Ironically enough I think it was Klaus."

The elevator dinged.

Vanya swallowed.

Five looked at her, "You don’t have to do this alone. We'll work this out. And we'll get your powers figured out too. Together." 

Vanya sniffed, and wiped at her eyes, "You’re actually awfully good at this 'being positive' thing."

The corners of Five's mouth turned up, "Who knows. Maybe I will be able to make a hobby out of it."

The doors opened.

The ground rumbled quietly around them.

Five eyed her as she stiffened and grudgingly took her hand.

Vanya smiled genuinely at his effort and, together, they stepped out into the light.


	2. Run, Boy, Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things take a significant downward spiral compared to the last chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably should wait a week before updating but I uh got a lil excited XD 
> 
> Also, Five can be mean- daNG he just got really rude XD which I mean not that it wasn’t warranted but calm down my son

"You let her out?!"

Five seethed, frustrated that his brother didn’t seem to be getting it, "Of course I did!"

Vanya shuddered watching Five standing toe to toe with Luther. It was going to take a long time for her to trust Luther again. It was hard to be within arms reach of him after that hug. The feeling of being wrapped in safety ripped away from her as he strangled her into unconsciousness. For a minute she had thought she wouldn’t wake up from it. For a minute she had welcomed it.

A loud shout from one of the boys drew her out of her thoughts. Allison seemed to be trying to calm them down. She was usually the mediator in these situations. Allison also couldn’t speak and her wordless protests and movements did not do an effective job.

Vanya swallowed guiltily, rubbing her own neck self consciously. She wouldn’t forgive herself for that anytime soon either.

Diego and Klaus were doing their best to keep Luther and Five from strangling each other, but that had never been their strong suit.

"I let her out because I’m not a complete idiot!"

Luther pointed a finger at her and Vanya flinched, "She tried to- no she _killed_ people _and_ hurt Allison!"

Klaus's hands fluttered worriedly, "Hey, hey c'mon now big guy-“

Five pointed his own finger right back at Luther, " _I’ve_ killed people! Are you going to lock me up? Huh?" 

Diego attempted to interject, "Hey, let’s not even go there-"

Luther ignored him, "That’s different and you know it." 

Five snarled, "They were good people. They weren’t convicted murderers like Harold Jenkins. They were people with families and hopes and dreams.”

"You didn’t kill them because you were too emotional! You, at least, have control!"

Vanya didn’t like the way they were squared off, fists clenched, chests heaving, in each other’s faces like they were only a few minutes away from punching each other.

Five threw his hands up in the air, "I learned control! I had training! I wasn’t locked up like an animal!"

"Dad tried that and it didn’t work! This is for the _world's_ safety, now!"

Diego scoffed at the mention of their father and Allison hit his shoulder disapprovingly, shaking her head. Klaus snickered.

Five glowered, "What should we lock you up now? Put you in a cage? Like the big stupid ape you are? Or maybe dad already thought of that and that’s why he banished you to the moon-!”

Luther's self control splintered like a too tense violin string and he reacted, swinging without thinking.

Five's head snapped backwards as he fell away onto the ground.

Vanya gaped.

The room was utterly silent.

Five pushed himself upwards, bracing himself on his hands. He sniffed before experimentally licking blood off of his upper lip, he grimaced at the taste before glaring upwards at his brother, "Oh bravo, like hitting me is going to _help_.”

Diego whirled on his brother, "You just hit a kid!" 

"He was being an ass!"

Klaus winced, "Not a good enough reason buddy."

Allison stomped her foot furiously.

Five stumbled to his feet, wiping the blood away from his nose, "I'm not a kid!" 

Diego pointed his finger at him, "You shut up before you say something else stupid. And you look like a kid so- it’s good enough for me."

Five looked ready to blow up, mouth thin and lips pressed firmly together.

Allison waved her hands frantically, the notepad clenched in one of them.

No one paid her any attention.

Vanya watched them all descend into chaos, quarreling with each other, Luther advocating for her imprisonment, Five being a staunch defender, blood dripping down his chin like a ghastly painting.

Vanya choked watching a ruby droplet fall and splatter against the ground. 

All she could see was Allison spluttering, falling to the ground, blood spurting, sliced neck gaping open, life spilling away and all her own fault.

She whimpered, dimly registering the volume rising in the background, "Don’t talk to me about control- you just hit me! You’ve lost your temper and hit Diego!"

"You’re only making the situation worse!"

"She’s too dangerous!"

"Stop fighting!"

Vanya clapped her hands over her ears.

"What you think hitting me again was going to work?"

"Five get off of him!"

"Luther big man-! Whoa whoa Diego! Don’t leave me alone! Ah shit there he goes-“

All she could hear was the hitting and the yelling and the sound of a fist striking flesh louder and louder-

And

They

Weren’t

_Stopping!_

Vanya screamed, and the world exploded.

* * *

 

Klaus groaned and sat up, rubbing the back of his head, "Guys?"

He wasn’t by the couch anymore, instead he was back up against the wall. He groaned again and rubbed the back of his head, wincing.

Oh goody. Blood!

Klaus looked around. The couch was flipped over, the table blown backwards, Allison sat slumped against it. Diego spreadeagled among the splinters of the table. Luther was closer to the blast radius, his larger mass keeping him from being blown as far away as he and Allison had been.

Vanya was crumpled in the center, knees bent, arms thrown over over her face, unconscious.

Shit. This really wouldn’t help Five's case to keep her clear and free.

Speaking of the little twerp, where was he? The last he’d seen him, he’d teleported away from Luther’s second punch and latched onto his back like some deranged angry piranha. It had all gone to hell from there, Diego wading into the fray and making things worse. Klaus had tried to grab him, but Diego had only pushed him away for all of his troubles.

Klaus sighed shaking his head and moaning, voice rising, "That’s what I get," he glanced at the ceiling mockingly and placed a hand on his chest, "for trying to be good."

He stood shakily, "Everybody alright?"

Someone groaned, probably Diego. 

He still couldn’t find Five.

Ben coughed and Klaus whirled raising an eyebrow. Ben pointed silently, and Klaus followed. Five was slumped against the far wall. Klaus looked around before walking over, crouching down beside him.

He looked up at Ben pleadingly and Ben frowned, asking impatiently, "Well? Is he still breathing?"

Klaus whined, "Why don’t _you_ check?"

Ben gave him an annoyed look.

Klaus threw his hands up shrilly, "I don’t know! You punched me earlier!"

"Klaus what if he’s dead?!"

"Ah fine, fine." Klaus crouched over him, "You do know he’s going to kill me when he finds out I touched him, right?" With a huff his fingers felt under his chin, "Yeah the little pipsqueak is still with us. Happy?"

"No."

"What? Why?"

Ben pointed, face awfully ashen for a ghost. 

Klaus looked down again. His movement had stirred Five's coat, revealing patches of blood. Klaus startled backwards, watching the stains spread. He grabbed his hair with his hands. Oh not good, not good. He whirled around, eyes wide. Who here had a medical degree?

No one.

Okay, who was the smartest?

_Five!_

Shit, no, that wouldn’t work. 

Second smartest?

Allison?

No idiot, Allison hadn’t fixed her own neck.

But mom had.

Klaus burst into action, flying from the room, "Mom! Mom!"

Ben shook his head as he watched his brother flee and raced after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *shakes head* Luther, Luther, Luther, I try to give you the benefit of the doubt and then u just come out all mean T^T


	3. Don’t stop me now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five bullies people into using their brains

Luther sat at the table, cupping his coffee. Allison, hands threaded through her hair, leaned next to him. Diego sat across from the pair, feet kicked up, ice pack over the back of his head. Klaus sat with his chin down at the head of table, arms over his head as he absently blew the dirty napkin in front of him, watching it fly up, and then down.

The clock ticked away the hour slowly in the background.

Luther swallowed, "If... if this isn’t proof that she needs to be locked up-“

Diego snapped, "Just give it a rest alright?"

Allison flipped up her notepad. Luther huffed and looked away before back again. Diego and Allison glared daggers at him. Luther sighed, "Yes. Fine. We can wait till they wake up to do anything."

Klaus startled and hissed at thin air, "Don’t _do_ that!"

His siblings looked at him. He smiled, "Ah, speaking of. He’s awake."

Luther frowned, "How do you know that?"

"Ah," he rubbed the back of his head, "a hunch?"

* * *

 

Vanya bit down on the inside of her cheek.

Mom rubbed her shoulder, "There, there. Are you feeling better?" 

She shook her head, her curtain of hair obscuring her face. 

Five sipped groggily at a cup of coffee he’d insisted he be allowed to have. Mom had relented. Apparently he’d only torn open a couple of stitches from an old bullet wound she dared not ask about, and acquired a few new bruises and scrapes. Nothing worth fretting over, though she insisted that he stay put on the bed in their equivalent of an operating room.

Vanya still hated herself.

She’d hurt her family not only once, but twice. 

She should be locked up.

She flinched when Luther came into the room. Diego, Allison, and Klaus followed. Allison, surprisingly, came over to sit beside her. Vanya frowned, puzzled, and Allison took her hand, smile strained, but present nonetheless.

Somehow that only made her want to cry more.

Luther asked hesitantly to their brother, "Are you alright?"

Five gripped his coffee, "Just peachy, no thanks to _you_."

Luther looked offended, "I didn’t-!”

Five interrupted him, voice angry and cold, "Look, _brother_. We tried it your way and your way _sucks_. Now we do it my way. Vanya will learn control. That’s our only option."

Diego's brows furrowed, "Hold on, it’s not our only option-“

Five was irritated to see his judgment questioned, "Really? Alright. That room? It’s soundproofed, right?" He turned to look at his sisters, "Vanya, your powers utilize sound, right?"

Vanya looked up, "I- I..."

He waited patiently, eyebrows raised expectantly.

Vanya looked down again, "Y- yeah. Leonard- I mean, Harold. He... he had dad's research. He...? He said I was able to convert the sounds I heard into a wave of energy, or something."

Allison patted her hand.

Five sneered, "See?"

Diego seemed amused, "See what? Soundproofed room equals no powers."

"No, _idiot_. Soundproofed room means no _outside_ sounds. You can’t escape sound unless you’re deaf."

The room paused in thought and Five growled, "That’s _not_ an option. Besides if I’m right, she could play an instrument and probably still draw power from it even _if_ she couldn’t hear. Sounds are simply vibrations."

Luther looked doubtful.

Five sighed, "Anyway, my point is, there’s _no_ point. The soundproofed room is useless. It’s control or _nothing_."

Vanya spoke up, "I..."

Their faces turned towards her.

She sniffed, "I think Luther's right."

Klaus laughed incredulously, " _What?_ " He leaned back in his seat and laughed again in disbelief, "Well, I didn’t see _that_ coming."

Five looked thoughtful.

"I’m dangerous." Vanya shook, "I see that. I- I’ve hurt the last two people in the world I would ever want to hurt. I should be locked up. I... I honestly don’t know what might happen next."

Allison seemed distressed, Klaus uncomfortable. Five's lips were pursed as if he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure how too. Luther looked a little sick.

Diego pushed himself off the wall, "No."

It was a day full of surprises it seemed.

He pointed a finger at her, "No. You’re not being locked up. _Luther's_ not locking you up, _you’re_ not locking yourself up." He raised his voice over hers and Luther's protests, "Nobody is locking _anybody_ up!"

Five titled his head in his brother's direction before taking a sip of his coffee, "Surprisingly enough, for once, I agree with Diego."

"Thanks." He glared daggers at his little brother, "Wait, what do you mean for once?"

Five continued on right over his brother, stating factually, "Fear isn’t the right motivator. Fear tears you down and gets in your way."

Vanya asked quietly, "What about love?"

Luther blinked. 

Allison rubbed her sister's back.

Vanya looked up, mousy and small and silent, "What if it’s love that motivates this decision?"

The room was silent. Diego looked down at his feet. Luther was either incredibly conflicted or possibly constipated. Klaus blinked as if he wanted to make a joke but someone was keeping him from blurting out something to break the still silence. Allison looked deeply saddened.

Five... Five stared into his coffee, lips thin and white.

He spoke finally, "Locking yourself up... won’t help in the long run. It’s the easiest solution. And... and Luther, actually, helped me realize that the easiest solution is not always the right one." 

Luther looked confused.

Five continued, turning his head back toward her, "People might get hurt. And it might take a long time. But you’ll learn how to control this." He huffed, "And if you want to lock yourself away until you think you’ve got the hang of it, fine. But we're not locking you away against your will and we won’t leave you alone down there." He glared at his brothers, "Right?"

They all nodded contritely.

"We're all agreed?"

All six Hargreeves children nodded this time.

Five sighed, "Great. Now that that’s over, for now, at least, someone get me today's paper."

Klaus looked confused, "Why?" 

Five snapped, "I don’t have to explain anything to you."

Allison raised her brows disapprovingly and Five rolled his eyes, "Fine. I want to double check and see if we really did save the damn planet or not."

Klaus sighed, pretending to be emotionally distraught, "And somehow, I’m still _just_ _as_ _confused!"_

Ben hit him.


	4. Epilogue: hazy shade of winter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna give it an open ending but u know what, I don’t care about realism I want something happy gosh darn it

**_Nine_** **_Months_** **_Later_**

Vanya concentrated, and then, with a blink, the glass of water went flying past her open hand and slammed into shards and droplets on the kitchen wall behind her.

She sighed.

Allison whispered, "That was good, Vanya. Better than before."

Vanya smiled softly at the encouragement. The glimmer of happiness fell away again as she glanced at the heap of broken glass now scattered on the floor, "I feel like I haven’t made any improvement at all." 

Allison gently patted her hand, "Yes you have. You no longer have to concentrate so hard to bring your powers out. You can control which direction things move in."

Vanya sighed with frustration, "But it’s not enough." She looked up at her sister, "There’s no point in controlling the direction when I can’t control how fast it moves."

She jumped at the flash beside the stove, Five appearing there to grab at the coffee pot. He glanced down when his shoes crunched on glass and then looked back up, "I take it training isn’t going well today?"

They shook their heads.

Allison raised an eyebrow and Five hummed, "What you've done so far has been working on controlling your emotions so that you don’t have outbursts."

Vanya looked a little puzzled, "...Yeah?"

He smiled viciously, "Isn’t it obvious? Your power is tied to your emotions. You’ve learned control. Use it."

Five vanished again, taking the entire coffee pot with him.

Allison huffed, "I wish he wouldn’t disappear like that." When there was no response, she looked back at her sister, "Vanya?"

Vanya's eyes were narrowed, lips pursed as she gave one of the last glasses they had lined up an impressive glare. Her eyes flashed white, her brow relaxed, and then the glass moved across the table to rest in her outstretched hand.

Allison gasped, "You did it!" 

Vanya laughed incredulously, "I- I did!"

She could almost cry, "I did it!" 

Allison pulled her into a hug, "You did it!" Vanya smiled into her shoulder and Allison grinned widely, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes, "I love you sis."

Vanya's murmured, "Me too," was quiet and sure and steadier than she’d ever been before. 

Five smirked from his hidden place by the door and with a small 'pop' he was gone from the room for good. 

All was well, the apocalypse was gone, his family was safe, and, for the first time in forty-five endless years, he had absolutely nothing to worry about.


	5. ANNOUNCEMENT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry ><

Yeah uh so it’s come to light that there a few problems that I need to wrap up!

So this is a sequel announcement.

Coming soon :P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry imma delete this chapter when I post the new story

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up on tumblr and yell about The Umbrella Academy with me: https://socialanxietyandotherthings.tumblr.com


End file.
